Today I said good-bye to my husband as he took his luggage and got ready to board the plane. Par for the course, the last few days have been incredibly hectic, and we haven't had much time to connect. Which has been rough, for both of us, because we are each others' center.
It made me stop and consider how I spend my time. I got an incredible wake-up call on facebook the other day when I saw that one of my best friends in the world was going in for induction the next day. I was floored. I hadn't realized that she was so close to her due date. Life was just passing me by, and I didn't even know why she was being induced. What was so important that I didn't even know what was going on in the life of someone who was so important to me?
Did I not have enough time? Sadly, I know what's going on in the personal lives of several of my facebook friends. People that I've never even met in person. And it's not that those connections are important - but why have they displaced people with whom I've spent intimate moments with. Laughing together in the wee hours in the morning, preparing for finals, sharing tears of sorrow, and triumphant moments as we started families. Yet somehow this important moment had just slipped me by.
Something has to change.
Technology is running away with my life.
A recent article in Time has blown up the cyber-world - and it's blowing up the "real" world too. Conflict about what is right and who is wrong, and what is best for our children. I've spent countless moments arguing the case for why there is nothing wrong with my parenting style. And for what? Instead, maybe I could have spent those moments focusing on my child. Writing a letter to my friend about to welcome her baby. Calling my father on the phone. Rather than sneaking a moment on my mobile phone to check facebook while the kids play on the playground.
So I am issuing a challenge. Not to the world. Not to my friends. But to myself. I'm giving myself a 30 day challenge.
From the moment one of my children opens his or her eyes to face the day until the moment all my children have closed their eyes to welcome their dreams, I am going to disconnect. If it's not an actual personal contact, then I'm cutting myself off. Unless I am actually speaking to a physical person, then the phones and computers are off.
My goal is that I will also disconnect my children. Our technology has become a bit of a crutch to them as well. I'm not sure I can entirely cut out screen time - I have a feeling that I am going to need to work hard to get Brianna away from Mickey Mouse - but my goal is for my children to not "need" to be distracted by a screen.
I know that childhood is only a few short years. I know for one of my children, surviving childhood is not something we can take for granted. I need to spend less time "supporting" people in cyberspace and focusing on those in my real world.
It won't be easy. But I'm going to make my life one less traveled in our modern society. Disconnected from the "world" maybe. But connected to those I love.
To my cyber friends whom I love and cherish - I am not abandoning you. But I need to prioritize, and so you might not see as much of me. I'll still have the time in the evenings when my children are tucked in. Especially since I no longer have my husband here to curl up on the couch, so I'll be around. I just won't be around 24/7 like I usually am.
To my dear friends and family that I have not spent as much time talking to as I wish I could, I am going to make an endeavor to catch up and reconnect. I miss you, I love you, and I NEED you in my life.
To keep myself accountable, once I tuck in my precious babes, I will update on the mundane and not so mundane events of our day here on this blog. I hope we will soon see things change, and that the feeling like I'm barely keeping my head above water changes as I am no longer distracted by that update tone on my phone.
God Bless,
Phaedra
